the destroyer > cheap papers > Meagan Lehr
DISPATCH: #WHATSHOULDWECALLME?
All GIFS from http://gifparty.tumblr.comNot them, not it. Me. What should we call me? There were some clear signifiers. And then, increasingly dumber. Now, an unimmaculate throat. I find me laughing. If I laugh, what should we call me? What's the GIF of me laughing?
When an adult is talking about their sex life. When a guy hits on me at a bar. When my friend is throwing up. When my favorite cosmetic product is discontinued. Me, doing anything. When my bed eats my phone. When my crush doesn't text me back for hours. When someone mentions day-drinking. When I make a bag of popcorn and every kernel pops. When I walk into a pizza place. When a guy I barely know double-texts me. When I miss a step on the staircase. When someone asks if I want to go to the gym.
Shit girls say is. Why didn't you tell us this would be so awesome? I would've shaved my legs, cause I had goose bumps the whole time. Hucksters as girls saying shit. As white girls saying shit to black girls. As asian girls saying shit to brown girls. As brown as buff as cryptic as crazy as straight as alienated, preoccupied with covet that GIF.
When my friends have fun without me.
When someone tries to take a picture of me in bright lighting. When someone says, wanna know a secret? When a white person pronounces a Spanish word with a Spanish accent. In the hallway at law school. When I win a round of rock-paper-scissors, 3-0. When I wake up too early before school/work. When your ex says they still want you. When you order dessert first, but then no one else does.
Johnny my love, get out of the business. It's irresponsible not to be on Facebook. Duras said late, "Writing was the only thing that populated my life and made it magic. Writing never left me…Women should not let lovers read the books they write. One must also, in such cases, hide the love of one's husband from lovers," and, "When people were there I was simultaneously less alone and more abandoned." –Writing, trans. Mark Polizzotti
When I see a really nerdy couple getting at it in public: 10 minutes after I send an email, when I realize I may have accidentally replied all. When I'm drunk and someone tries to have a serious conversation with me: When someone sneezes weird. When everyone is getting into relationships and you're just in the corner like: When I have to do basic math. Whenever anyone talks about how much they love Brooklyn, I'm just like:
On #WhatShouldWeCallMe:
"So, why's it so popular? Probably because of its spot-on descriptions of shared (and typically hard to explain) experiences." "We all know how hard it can be sometimes to express exactly how you feel into words. Like, for example, how you feel after you drunkenly tell your crush you like him or when you discover your new favorite sushi roll." "Most people's interactions with this website relate to their linking to [an entry] on a bestie's Facebook page — a reminder that one's idiosyncrasies can be summed up by a three-second film clip." From www.JWOW.com: "Someone pointed out this little gem to me and I can't stop laughing hahaha. SO F-ING TRUE! Hats off to the person that made this." "…most of the jokes are just self-deprecating, where we're making fun of ourselves, like we watch so much TV and we sit around and eat all day. And the best thing for me is that all these people are thinking the exact same things about themselves."
When I'm waiting for food to heat up in the microwave. When that annoying friend calls. When I try to stay mad at someone but they start making me laugh. When the person sitting behind me sneezes. When someone tells me they don't like pizza. When I think my friends are up to something but I'm not included. When I see someone wearing Dooney & Burke. When my friend tells me she's bailing on our plans. When you're trying to sleep and someone opens up the blinds.
Collective's a good word. Collecting memes for good use. Meme me meme me me me me's collected—me is shit girls say. Laugh GIF, figs my boyfriend stole. GIF meme a word for the collective subconscious of females. Collect, collage, meme-make, GIF-get, there is. An unimmaculate throat.
When I want a bite of my boyfriend's food. When I smell a shot before I take it. When someone makes a joke about current events and I realize I need to read the NYTimes more. When someone sends you a dirty text while you're with your family. When you and your best friends diss someone you hate. When my boyfriend says he likes my baby fat. When the person next to me brings a huge meal onto the plane. Everyone's reaction that one time I got bangs.